Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,
To pluck up and break down,
To destroy and overthrow,
To build up and to plant.”
Everytime I get the urge to just open the bible at any random page, it surprises me that the words speak directly to me. Today is no exception. As a writer, my creativity is a gift from God. His words flow through my pen and my keyboard. For the past year I have felt the decline in my creativity. Words have been hard. My grief has somehow blocked my focus and possibly my faith.
A few weeks ago I broke.
It had been a year since my Alex, born to my stepdaughter seventeen weeks early, lost his long eight day fight.
I have been so preoccupied with achieving personal goals this year that I have lost every ounce of creativity left in me.
I started the year with a full time job to catch up on these bills and now I have no time for anything else. I have stopped volunteering. I have stopped writing. I feel like I have lost touch with who I really am.
I now need to pick up the pieces and move on. I need to prioritize my schedule so I have time for the things that are important to me. I need to make the time to write. I need to make the time to volunteer more. I need to realize and believe that my faith gives me the strength I need to do all things. Nothing is impossible with God.
Just look at everything I’ve been through already in my life. I can dig my way to the surface. I will find the woman I know is stuck inside.